Finding Your People: Why Showing Up Matters

When I first arrived in Toronto to study at Toronto Metropolitan University it felt like I had left my entire life behind.

My family was back home in Kenya. My closest friends were thousands of kilometres away. Everything familiar – the people, the routines, even the small comforts I had taken for granted – was suddenly gone. I kept telling myself that I was only here for a few years. I would finish my degree, gain some experience, and eventually return home.

What I didn’t realize was that Toronto would become the place where I built friendships that would shape some of the most important years of my life.

Like many first-year students, my first few weeks were overwhelming. Walking across campus, everyone seemed to know exactly where they were going while I was still trying to find my classrooms. I remember arriving early to lectures, looking around the room and hoping to recognize a familiar face. Most days, I didn’t.

There were afternoons when I ate lunch by myself and evenings when I called home just to hear familiar voices. Looking around, it felt like everyone else had already found their people while I was still trying to figure out where I fit in.

The loneliness wasn’t always obvious. Sometimes it appeared in the quiet moments – walking back to residence after class, seeing groups of friends laughing together, or wishing I had someone to talk to about my day.

Even during those uncertain weeks, there was one thing I knew for sure: I wanted to keep playing sports.

Back home, soccer had always been a huge part of my life. It gave me structure, confidence, and a sense of belonging. So, when I discovered the drop-in sports program at TMU, I decided to give it a try.

Looking back, that one decision changed everything.

At first, I showed up because I wanted to play. Before long, I started recognizing familiar faces every week. Conversations after games turned into friendships. The court became more than a place to play. It became the place where I finally started feeling connected to the community around me.

What surprised me most was realizing that many of the people I met were experiencing the same things I was.

Some had moved from different parts of Canada; others had travelled halfway around the world. Many of us were trying to build new lives while adjusting to university at the same time. On the surface everyone looked confident, but underneath, we were all trying to find where we belonged.

Knowing I wasn’t the only one made TMU and Toronto feel a little less overwhelming.

As the months passed, I started saying yes to more opportunities: I attended campus events, explored different neighbourhoods, and continued showing up to soccer every week. Little by little, the city stopped feeling unfamiliar.

Eventually, I found my group.

We were brought together by our shared love of soccer, but what kept us together was everything that happened off the field. Some of the guys were also from Kenya, and hearing familiar accents, sharing meals, and laughing about things only we understood gave me a sense of comfort I hadn’t realized I needed. This

What began as teammates quickly became something much deeper.

Many of them were older than me, and they naturally became mentors and older brothers. Whenever I struggled with school, living away from home, or simply adjusting to life in Toronto, they were there. They had already experienced many of the same challenges and were always willing to share advice or simply listen.

Looking back now, I realize I didn’t find my community all at once.

It happened through small decisions. Choosing to attend one drop-in session. Starting one conversation after a game. Saying yes to one campus event, even when it felt easier to stay home.

Each experience slowly built the life I have today. When I think about my first few months in Toronto, I don’t remember the uncertainty as much as I remember the people who helped me through it. They turned an unfamiliar city into a place that felt like home.

And it all started with one simple thing: showing up.