The Path from Fear to Belonging: Reflections of an International Student in Toronto

My Journey from First-Year Introvert to Student Leader 

I arrived in Toronto at eighteen with two suitcases, a head full of dreams, and a one-way ticket heavier than I could have imagined. 

It wasn’t my first international trip, but it was the first time I was traveling alone, and the first time I wasn’t coming back anytime soon. I still remember stepping off the plane at Pearson Airport, heart pounding with every step. The excitement I felt on the flight had started to twist into anxiety. 

What if I said the wrong thing at customs? What if I didn’t have the right documents? What if they didn’t let me in? 

Thankfully, immigration was smoother than I feared. I answered their questions, collected my bags, and made it through. As I walked out, the officer smiled and said, “Welcome home.” 

It felt strange to hear. I wasn’t sure this place was home yet. I wasn’t sure it ever would be. 

This Isn’t a Vacation. This Is Your New Life. 

The check-in process at HOEM on Jarvis was smooth. But the moment I opened the door to my room, set my bags down, and sat on the bed… the loneliness hit. 

This wasn’t a trip. It was my new beginning. 

The first few weeks at Toronto Metropolitan University were a blur of lecture halls, long walks across campus, and pretending I knew what I was doing. Everyone around me looked like they had it all figured out. Meanwhile, I was still Googling how to open a bank account or refill my Presto card. 

But the hardest part wasn’t the logistics, it was the feeling that I didn’t belong. 

I struggled with imposter syndrome. I doubted my place in the classroom. I worried my accent would make me sound less capable. I felt pressure to prove myself, even while learning how to survive. 

And even now, years later, there are still moments when I feel like I have to work twice or even three times as hard, just to prove my worth. 

Still, slowly, something began to shift. I began saying yes. 

The Cold Walk That Changed Everything 

But before I learned to say yes, there were moments that nearly broke me. 

On my second day in Canada, I had to get my SIN (Social Insurance Number). The office was about four kilometres away, and it was early January, my first real Canadian winter. I didn’t know how to use the TTC. I didn’t even have a Presto card. So I walked. Through the snow. In layers that didn’t know how to keep out the cold. 

After finishing the paperwork, I sat alone in a nearby Tim Hortons. I called my parents, trying not to sound tired or scared. I tried to hold back tears. 

That moment, sitting in that booth with numb fingers and a full heart, still brings tears to my eyes. 

Because that was the real beginning. The beginning of learning to be on my own. Of realizing that discomfort doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re becoming. 

TMU: More Than Classes and Coursework 

University isn’t just about academics. TMU taught me that quickly. 

That single “yes” led me somewhere incredible. 

HOEM: The Place I Built a Life 

HOEM became more than a place to live; it became the place I started building a life. 

I joined the Social Squad and found purpose in helping others feel welcome. We planned events, welcomed residents, and slowly, I became a familiar face in the building. Later, I took on the role of Content Curator, telling the stories of our residents, spotlighting community moments, and celebrating the small things that make student life meaningful, just like the story I’m telling you now. But it wasn’t just about roles. It was personal. 

This was also where I met my first real friends in Canada, people I bumped into in the kitchen, or laughed with during game nights, who slowly became my chosen family. We shared late-night study sessions, impromptu dinners, deep conversations, and ridiculous laughter. 

HOEM didn’t just give me a room. It gave me my people. 

Finding Comfort in Culture and Quiet 

Some of the most healing moments were small, sensory ones. 

I’d call my mom or grandma for recipes and cook, tomato pappu, lemon rice, or rasam. The sound of mustard seeds popping in hot oil, the smell of curry leaves and turmeric, those smells carried memories, grounding me in something familiar. 

And when the noise of the day got too loud, I had a secret refuge: the 14th floor Zen Room. 

That space, with its soft lighting and city views, was a place to breathe. My friends and I would sit there, sharing stories or quietly studying. It became our sanctuary, our slice of stillness in a world that rarely slows down. 

Sometimes on weekends, I’d hop on the TTC and head to Scarborough to eat at Minerva Tiffins, a little South Indian restaurant that felt like a warm hug in winter. One plate of dosa was all it took to remind me: even oceans away, home can still find you. 

If You’re New: Read This First 

If you’re about to begin your journey at TMU or HOEM, especially as an international student, here’s what I wish someone had told me. 

Ram’s Quick Tips for International Students 

• Start before you feel ready. Confidence comes from doing, not waiting. 

• Your accent is part of your identity. It’s a bridge, not a barrier. 

• Say yes to events — even if you go alone. That’s how friendships begin. I still remember my first volunteering experience; it was at a student leadership conference called Inspire. Honestly, I only signed up for the free food and to hang out with my friends. But that experience made me realize the joy of volunteering and finding community. Most people volunteering at events are either looking to add valuable experience to their resume or share a passion similar to yours, both reasons that make it easy to connect and belong. 

• Make your space your own. A familiar meal or a small decoration can make a room feel like home. 

• Ask for help. This is a new country. It’s okay if you don’t know where to begin, nobody expects you to have it all figured out. TMU offers a lot of support, but they can’t help you unless you ask. In my first few weeks, I signed up for a program called Academic Edge, which helped me understand how university academics really work. I started speaking to the program facilitator, and she helped me in more ways than I can explain. Today, I actually work alongside her to facilitate Academic Edge and other programs, helping new students just like I once was. 

• Speak up in class. I know it can feel intimidating — but the classroom is the lowest-stakes place to practice using your voice. Sure, someone might judge you. But your professors will notice. You’ll gain confidence, start getting things right, and the same people who once doubted you will see you differently. Plus, when you need help, your prof already knows you’re someone who tries. That’s exactly how I met one of my first mentors in Canada, a professor who had once been an international student too. 

Helpful Resources to Get You Started 

• TMU International Student Services: Support, workshops, and advice just for international students 

• Student Life at TMU: Clubs, leadership, and events 

• TTC & Presto: Learn how to get around the city 

• Student Wellness and Counselling: Free, confidential mental health support 

You Belong Here 

I came to Canada with fear in my chest and silence on my tongue. 

But through awkward introductions, small acts of courage, and the quiet strength of showing up, I found something deeper than confidence – I found belonging. 

And now, almost three years later, I think back to that moment at the airport, when the officer looked at me and said, “Welcome home.” 
Back then, it felt strange. But today, it finally feels true. 

So to anyone who’s just arrived and is still finding their footing, 
If you’re feeling nervous, unsure, or overwhelmed… I see you. 
I was you. 

And I want to say the same words that once felt foreign, but now feel right: 

You belong here. Welcome home.